There's White . . . then there's BLACK

This is that "love the skin you're in" kind of talk, but from my perspective.
I find the white American very fascinating. The way they talk, the manner in which they dress, and the food they enjoy eating fascinates me. On the outside, they always appear as "beyond perfect" but on the inside, they're just regular human beings, nothing special. But for many years, I envied the white American because I wanted to be them and live their lifestyle. Coming from Nigeria to America, my parents always taught me to emulate the whites, act like them, befriend them, read like them. And I did. I befriended them, I acted like them, read like them, even went as far as eating what they ate because I thought it would bring me closer to perfection.

When I entered high school, I no longer envied them because I wanted to be them, but I envied them because they were too perfect (or so I thought). In my high school, they were the kings and queens of the school. They were the most popular and everyone seemed to love them. Everything seems to work in favor for them. They made the highest grades in class, they were really good at sports, they have nice clothes and nice cars and teachers seemed to love them (even the class clowns and talkatives). Not to mention they have the most school spirit. I remember freshman year wanting to be like them. I wanted to know it felt to have everything I ever wanted. I wanted to know how it felt to belong. It seemed like in my high school if you weren't white or acted white, you didn't properly belong.

But question is why? Why were the white Americans superior creatures in my school, in my city, in the US? Why do they have so much confidence walking with their heads held high while I struggle to walk in a straight line? Why are they so intelligent, they don't have to study, they just absorb all the information? why are they so rich? Why are they more respected in school than I was? It seems like their whole life is already planned for them. They follow in the footsteps of their parents, re-writing the same story their parents have already written. It seems like they fear individuality, especially here in the south because it would make them "out" as opposed to "in" and they won't belong.

For many years I have envied the white American. Nigerians look up to them like some sort of god. If we worship them than maybe we will have a slice of perfection, a slice of success. For many years I have hated the color of my skin because I am not respected. For many years, teachers have used a condescending tone to speak to me as opposed to the admiring and conversational tone they have use while speaking to my white peers.

But now, I love the color of my skin. I love being black. I love being Nigerian. I love studying in order to understand the information. I love working in order to buy the things I need. I love to earn respect, not just because of the color of my skin, but because of my hard-work and dedication. I allowed the color of my skin to dictate my achievements for way too long. Black doesn't crack and although I'm a woman, I can do extraordinary things as a Nigerian woman. For example, Genevieve Nnaji, Rita Dominic, Mary Remmy Njoku, Isoken Asemota (Enibaby4 on Youtube), Peakmill, Jennie Jenkins, Jackie Aina, and Linda Ikeji are a few Nigerian women who are well respected and very successful right now because they worked hard to get where they are today. I'm proud to be Nigerian, God has truly blessed us. Be yourself and love the skin you're in. With God, all things are possible.